Bakit nga ba?
A month before my 4th year anniversary I was recollecting, reflecting on something good to write for my anniversary blog. Obviously, nothing came up. I even tried to came up an idea after a month but still, nil.
And now few months more to go before year 5, nasan na ang year 4 blog?
Nagbibilang ng Taon 4: There's no Place Like Home
With God's blessings and never-ending providence. I had a chance to go back home. At first, I was not that really excited kasi I didn't save up much money before I go home. I, being spendthrift, I never prepared myself in going home. It was because of my mother's constant nagging with "lambing" that I should spend my holiday back home. "Kahit isang beses lang every 4 years." she said. It struck me, straight through the heart. It's like I prefer to stay and work in a foreign country and spend only a month out of 48 for them. So I gave in. I excited and at the same time, scared. It was my second time to ride a plane and the memory of my first flight is is still fresh in my mind. Believe it or not, I am still thinking that I might lose my passport.
I am dreading the "airport scenes". Most of the time (teka, parang always yata), there are always something bad comes up when we send someone off to the airport. From excess baggage to passport control, not matter how you prepared your departure, expect that something will come up. But ironically, the day turned out different than what I expect it to be. My departure in Suvarnabhumi airport turned out fine, until the plane departs and in fact, we landed in Clark International Airport a few minutes earlier as scheduled. I was thinking, it was saving the worst for last. I heard a lot of stories about how Filipino immigration, the strict/opportunist immigration officer. Strict because they will really open your baggage and check everything for those things that cannot bring to the Philippines. Opportunist because once they saw what's in your bag, they will pick something and ask if they can have it and out of shame you will give it. Again, ironic as my trip started, after the passport control, a guy in the custom check was waiting for me (I came first in the immigration check among all the passengers of the plane, I was not scared anymore because I secure my passport in the deepest pocket of my bag). He asked some question like "Ilang taon ka na?", "Anong ginagawa mo sa Thailand?", "Gano ka na katagal sa Thailand?", "Taga-san ka Pinas?" while flipping the pages of my passport. And the looks: strict/oppotunist. After checking the passport, he caught me looking at the door (I was checking if my family's waiting for me there) then he gave me my passport. I was about to open my bag. Digging deep in my pocket for the key in my luggage when he said. "Cge na, clear ka na." I mean my jaw literally dropped and i was thinking like "Can this day get better than this?" I was thanking him for a lot of times (by the way, I think he was so sure of what he is doing because I am all alone in the queue) and asking for forgiveness inside my head for judging him too quickly. I took my luggages and rushed to the door. The day gets better, I immediately got my answer.
A few meter from the door when I saw my younger sister Sare. It was that moment that all the 4 years of my life in Thailand becomes so clear to me. I ran to the door and gave each other a tight, warm hug. It was a few seconds that I notice that she was alone. She told me, my other siblings went to the toilet, Mama and Papa is looking for a parking spot and I was too early that the schedule time. We talked for a few moments before my other siblings came. "Si Ate, si Ann, si Dong, Si Marlon, asawa ni Sare., they are all here. Si Ann dadrama pa yata. She was running then stopped a meter away from me. Looked at me, eyes watering then approached me. "Laki ng ilong mo." she said. It was insulting I guess but it was much better than "Hello."
"Si mama kasama si Sam." From the parking lot, I saw my mother running with my pamangkin Sam. Sam, being as excited as i was, run towards me. Like what Ann did, stopped a meter away from me and looked at me from head to foot. Hindi na ko nakatiis, I grabbed him and gave a cuddly kiss on the cheeks. He was 2 years old when I went to Thailand. When I was still in the Philippines, he always hangs out in our house and we always go out, look and count the cars, jeep and tricycles passing by in our street. Then go to the store and buy Magnolia Chocolait for him and for me. It was his favorite. Nainggit lang si Tito. "Ayun si Mama, 10 meters away from me, umiiyak na." Well, She never saw me in 4 years, it was stressing her out, a lot. Tight hugs and kisses then she told me "Ang laki laki mo, mukha ka nang tatay." Insulting again but it was much better that "Umuwi ka pa?"
I was so high with the presence of my family around me. After 4 long years, so long the image was like a dream to me. I was busy talking and talking when someone throw his arms in my neck. "Ay si papa." (those were the exact words). At long last. I am with my family. I am home.
The things that I did when I was in the Philippines:
1. Reymay's Wedding (hang out with my college friends)
2. Visit the SM Mall of Asia (when I left, they were still building it). We watched T2 (horror movie with Maricel Soriano). I was suddenly missed the cinemas in Thailand because Filipinos are so noisy when they watch a movie in cinema houses. It was this scene when Maricel was being haunted by an "engkanto". "May sumisitsit sa kakahuyan." Annoying thing was, the engkanto stopped the sitsit but the kid beside me was still doing it.
3. Tumambay sa SM at Trinoma. Kumain ng unlimited rice sa Mang Inasal. Kumain ng dimsum sa may... nakalimutan ko na. Maglaro sa Timezone. Magikot sa kung saan saan. I saw how long I have been away because SM North Edsa was renovated and Trinoma is a good place to hang out. I was having the intention of just stay at home. Kasi nga walang budget but my so generous Ate always ask me to go out when she has time (and she has a lot of it when I went home) so I always reply "Timezone na lang tayo." She paid everything; the games, the movie, the food, the food again and more food, the baon that I brought when I went back to Thailand. Sobrang nahihiya nga ako nun kasi ako ung galing abroad ako ung walang pera. Sya pa ung nagagalit pag sinasabi ko na wag na lang lumabas kasi walang budget. "Walang sense ang pag-uwi mo kung magmumukmok ka lang sa bahay." I was planning to repay her back pero hindi pera, nagiisip pa.
4. The Flickristasindios Photowalk. It was the first time I met my co-members in Flickr group "Flickristasindios". Para akong nakameet ng celebrity. Nakita ko si jobaracuda sa personal (again, the exact same words). I got to know him because there was another Flickr Group (Philippines and they had a photo contest/exhibit last October 2008. I was so happy, ecsatic I guess, because my photo was chosen. Jobarracuda won the contest so parang idol na ang dating nya sa akin. I was so happy talking with "The Indios", hanging out with them, sharing photos and stories with them. And of course the Weekly Mamam. At least nakaattend ako twice. What's more fun than talking about photography with beer and sisig (sabayan pa ng jokes ang pangungulit)?
5. LaMesa Dam/Ecopark. Family outing. FUN!
6. at kung anu-ano pa na hindi ko na matandaan...
It was just awkward that the whole time I was there. I felt different. I know I am home and I am with my family but i felt like I was on vacation and went to another country. Everything was so different from they were when I left. The memories of the physical place of the place I called home suddenly looks like a blur. That was four years? I felt like I was away for a decade. I was starting to miss things and feel awkward with the new ones. I was like holding back in letting go of the memories and convincing myself not to embrace the fresh and soon-to-be-made memories. In the attempt of keeping my circle of convenience and my mantle of protection, I was being selfish to myself, the chance to grow and to face more opportunities. It was then before I left and go back to the Thailand that I started to feel that I need give room for the memories. To replace the old with the new. To change the oil and start running with fresh. Yes, I was sad because of the fresh memories that was being played in my head over and over again. And the additional perk, these fresh memories makes me more inspired in working in a place away from home. The pictures so vivid that everytime I relive it, it's like I'm living it all over again. At first, I was like kind of killing myself why I made the decision of going home. I was like "Okay ka naman nung nag-4 na taon ka, kinaya mo, ngaun nalulungkot at nag-iisip na muli, nag-iisa ka na naman. Pauwi-uwi ka pa kasi." Little did I know, that these fresh memories help me crave for much more memories once I go back to the place that I will always call home.
Care to make more memories? Sure. December is just around the corner and before I know it, I am making fresh "Christmas" memories with my family.
