What I think about "Transformers: The Last Knight" movie

- When I went out the cinema, I feel half-entertained, half-insulted.Then I rode the taxi going home. Now, I just feel insulted.

- When I see Michael Bay in person, I want to punch him in the face just because of this movie. It's his last Transformers movie. He should have retired with flying colors, not with angry fans and disgusted critics. I think Michael Bay intentionally made this movie bad. Even before, when he was receiving scathing reviews of his Transformers movies, he didn't take them seriously. He even answered negatively to some of them. In fact, all the things wrong about the previous films in the franchise, according to the critics, are still in The Last Knight. And he made it bigger. I'm imagining him saying, "You don't like this? Here's more of it!." He knows the movie will rake big bucks in the box office, so he didn't care if he made trash.

- It certainly wants to win the Chinese audience.

- Optimus Prime made sure that everyone knows his name.

- I can buy the whole premise of the story. And I can see it as a much better movie if it is executed and written well.

- I can't even remember how many times I cringe in the many lines. Comic reliefs (both human and robots) are not relieving at all.

- I decided to watch the movie because I want to see robots heavy robot action scenes. It didn't disappoint (and much bigger than the previous films). The movie is visually pleasing with the great CGI and knowing it was shot with IMAX cameras (that's one good thing).

- Why does Optimus Prime get all the good lines? Except the closing monologue, it so... meh. It's like it was written on the last minute because all the other movies had Optimus Prime's monologue and they forgot to write one for this movie.

- I tried to love the characters, even the little girl, but the movie didn't give me anything enough to do that. I was happy to see Josh Duhamel but the way the story was written made you realize that the story will not change much if he was not in it.

- I enjoyed watching the robots, both Autobots and Decepticons, and those mini dinosaur robots are so much. It's so shiny and tiny, I wanna die!

- There were Easter eggs from the previous movies, I didn't care for it.

- As a fan of the franchise, I was not happy with the movie. Some of the reviews say this can be appealing to fans. It was not for me. 2 out of 5.

Let's talk about your Facebook feed

A piece of my (pakialamerong) mind: (This is a very lengthy post).

I have almost a thousand friends in FB. Compare to other people, that is not a lot. But that's a lot of people of different character, behavior and mindset. I don't expect all of them to agree with me on my opinions on certain things. I bet some people already unfollowed or unfriended me because I post too much stuff about things like superhero movies. I am sure all of us are guilty with this, and it only differs in interest. A mother who posts a lot about her kids. A baker who posts all of her baking masterpiece. A gamer who updates his friends of the latest games that he plays. A gym buff who posts a lot of shirtless selfies. There are people who use FB as their diary.

People of different opinions. Some are more loud. Some are more persuasive. Some are more abrasive. And there are times that we don't agree with them. Some are very active in posting their rebuttal in the comment section. Some just let it slide. Some of the posts can tick you off and sometimes you get tired of reading it to the same person. Do you choose to comment and engage in verbal jousting or live the life of reading your FB feed in peace?

That is YOUR feed. That is YOUR page. You can control what you want to see or read in your FB feed. I have unfollowed and unfriended a lot of people because of this. And reading my FB feed is more bearable and enjoyable.

But if you want to create chaos or constantly debate with people on ideas that you don't share the same sentiments, or make them persuade that you are in the good (and good luck doing that) by all means, do it. If you want your daily experience of FB feed surfing a challenge and infuriating, it is all your decision. YOU can always choose to live a peaceful life or swim in chaos.

What I think about the Wonder Woman Movie

- Wonder Woman saved the future of Justice League and DCEU!

- Gal Gadot, kahit saang anggulo, malayo o malapitan, honggondo!

- Chris Pine might not be the most beautiful man in Hollywood but he is really charming.

- Un naman pala. The skirts are too short because they are warrior. They need more leg room to throw those kicks and long skirt is not a comfortable to wear if you are on a horse, charging to war.

- Everything looks dark pa rin except Themyscira. Tatak DC movie talaga.

- The humor is really good. Hindi nagmukhang pilit para lang masabi na may comedy. Well-written and effectively timed and delivered. See DC, you can still keep the dark elements of your movied and can throw a few laughs. We loved it.

- Ganda talaga ni Gal Gadot!

- Etta is a good example of minor character that has a very little screentime but she always delivers and can steal the show.

- Aquaman's trident? Bane's source of strength? Are these important easter eggs? Are these easter eggs even?

- Sarap sakalin si crush ng Lasso of Hestia ng magkaalaman na.

- Did I mention that Gal Gadot is so pretty in this movie?

- I give it 4 out of 5. Highly recommended!

Backpack and Baneg: Episode 1: Koh Lanta

It in in my list this year that I will travel alone.  The experience being out there, on an unfamiliar place with nothing to mind but yourself.

Koh Lanta happened last summer.

A glimpse of an extroverted introvert traveler.   I didn't meet new people, but I enjoyed observing and watching tourist having fun and loving the sunny weather and beautiful beaches and islands of Thailand. I didn't go out on local bars and talk to new people but I enjoyed sitting in a corner table, drinking alone and listening to a lice band playing reggae tunes.  I didn't spent hours walking on the beach and greet people along the way but I enjoyed my visit on an animal shelter.

I was a lone on the trip but it was not a lonely trip.

And I promise myself that this will happen again and more often than before.

Looking forward to episode 2!

The Stage is Calling me

The stage has called me and I answered.

Ever since I was a kid, I love performing. My father is a good singer and knows how to play some musical instruments and my mother used to perform in barrio when she was a kid. I guess it is in the genes since all of my siblings are into singing and dancing. We used to perform in parties in our neighborhood and during barangay fiesta. I was almost present in all programs in my (early) high school, joined dance competition and my early college years and joined the dance troupe in my senior year.

A few months after high school graduation, whenever I have free time, my friend and I used to visit my high school and see out former teachers. That time, the teachers were busy preparing a stage play. We got to hang around during rehearsals. They asked us to join the play because they need policemen for a certain scene. No talking parts, we just need to hold the main's characters arm for about 5 minutes then drag her out of the stage. I agreed because the whole cast and crew will have an out-of-town trip after the run, free of all expenses.

We attended rehearsals and many times I was assigned as a prompter, a person on the side of the stage whispering lines to someone who forget theirs. This made me memorize almost all the the lines of the play. After rehearsals, we sometimes threw lines while walking out of the school campus. Me, reciting the lines of those who were not with us. A few days after the opening night, a little problem with the costume resulted to something I cannot even imagine. A cast member walked out the rehearsals. Then there was this awkward silence which was broken by the director when he said, "Philip, learn the lines. You will replace her." I jolted, left my mouth wide open for a few moments before agreeing. When I looked around, everyone were also aghast. After the rehearsal that day, they made me stay. The role is a supportive sister of the main character, who's always there for the family and witness how her cousin and nephew grew up. We rehearsed a few lines. The script didn't work for a male. Then director snappily thought of acting the role as a gay uncle. A flamboyant gay uncle. 

That's when I learn to love the theater. The ecstasy of performing. The way the heart beats of nervousness and excitement. When you don't want to know if you want to shout or throw up when that curtain opens. The feeling of accomplishment and relief after the curtain call. Theater has been in my blood all along. Then I graduated, got a job and the calling just fades away. Farther and farther until the ears can't sense the minute amplitude of its voice.

 Two weeks ago, I read from the Bangkok Community Theater Facebook page that they are having auditions for the Fringe Festival, a theater show composed of one-act plays and musicals. I stared at the post for a couple of minutes, considering to audition.

When I started working, gradually I started to fear crowds, or being in front of a crowd. The performing bug left me. Or maybe I abandoned it.  I am always shy to speak or perform in front of people. There were times that I need to be in front of people, and I hate the feeling of wanting the ground to swallow you whole just ti have that sweet release from torture. But I want to do well on everything that I do and I want to deliver. So I just sucked it in and do it. But every time I finish, I always say that I don't want to do it again.

I promised myself that I want to do something different and exciting this year. I felt like the past year was pretty boring for me. I love travelling but that is not the different and exciting that I want to do. I want to do more. I wanted to be challenged.

I was tearing myself inside looking at the BCT announcement on Facebook. There was a war and it seemed no one want to lose. And I didn't want to sleep on it and give myself more time to think. I was afraid I might forget it and lose this chance. But the feeling of being on a stage with people looking at you, watching you, judging your performance, waiting for you to fail is undeniably bad. 

When the stage calls you, you answer.

The stage has called me and I answered.

I will be playing a role in the opening musical number for the Fringe Festival. And this will not be a one-time thing. I will be joining the Bangkok Community Theater.

Theater, here I come. It's great to be back!

What I think about the Power Rangers movie

- It was not the best but it was really entertaining. The writing is a little off but I enjoyed most of it. You will see those classic exaggerated jumps and flips. You might hate it, or love it. For me, LOVE IT! (Sayang lang kasi walang group pose with cheap explosions sa likod). I'll give it a 3.5 out of 5.

- I want to have one of those Power coins. Magandang pamato sa piko.

 - The original (TV) Power Rangers were achievers, jocks, and brainiacs. These movie Power Rangers are in the opposite side of the spectrum. This is a story of redemption. A story of creating an identity. A story of acceptance.

 - The product placement is annoying but funny. You will shake your head while laughing.

- Watch out for Easter eggs! ...And the end-credits scene. I literally gasped in surprise and excitement.

 - The fans were right on "that" theory.

 - Red Ranger had these Zac Efron vibe going on...

- ... but Black Ranger is my favorite.

 - Oh, Elizabeth Banks! What can't you do?

 - The Megazord and Goldar fight scene is a little underwhelming and bitin. Parang sa tv series nun. 30 minutes show, ang Megazord fight, mahaba na ang 2 minutes.

 - The nostalgia is real! I was like a child clasping and clapping my hands on those scenes that took me back to my childhood memories of Power Rangers. If you are a fan of the Power Rangers, you really should see this. And take your kids or nephews or nieces with you. They will surely have fun watching it. Yung batang babae nga sa harap ko, panay turo kay Pink Ranger.

What the heck happened to this blog?

Just like the same hobbies that I had before, like this blog site, I got tired, bored and didn't have any inspiration or idea to write about. Or maybe the pace of life is moving at neck speed, I didn't have time to stop and smell the flowers (and write about them). Or maybe I didn't feel the importance of writing a blog anymore (who reads this anyway). Or maybe I can't just write anymore. But hey, at least, after 7 years, I have the time to visit it again. Man, the things I wrote about! But, I don't intend to delete them. Those are memories for keeps. It's 2017! Hasn't been that long? My last post was January 5 2010. I was talking about my first vacation in the Philippines since I worked here in Thailand. So I need you(anyone there?) to hang on to the next few sentences. I will let you keep up on what happened for the past 7 years. I went back home after 5 years. I tried to work in the Philippines. I got a job in a BPO company, a Customer Service Representative but more like Technical Service Representative since we help customers fixed their DSL internet connection. I finished the training but didn't work as a TSR per se. I bummed the 3/4 of the year in the Philippines. I went back to Bangkok and here I am now, working as a Science teacher in a Convent School. I won't bore you on the details of that 7 years. I will keep that in the next blog posts. I am back! And I will try to write as much as I can. Happy New Year!

Bakit Walang Nagbibilang ng Taon Year 4?

Bakit nga ba?

A month before my 4th year anniversary I was recollecting, reflecting on something good to write for my anniversary blog. Obviously, nothing came up. I even tried to came up an idea after a month but still, nil.

And now few months more to go before year 5, nasan na ang year 4 blog?

Nagbibilang ng Taon 4: There's no Place Like Home

With God's blessings and never-ending providence. I had a chance to go back home. At first, I was not that really excited kasi I didn't save up much money before I go home. I, being spendthrift, I never prepared myself in going home. It was because of my mother's constant nagging with "lambing" that I should spend my holiday back home. "Kahit isang beses lang every 4 years." she said. It struck me, straight through the heart. It's like I prefer to stay and work in a foreign country and spend only a month out of 48 for them. So I gave in. I excited and at the same time, scared. It was my second time to ride a plane and the memory of my first flight is is still fresh in my mind. Believe it or not, I am still thinking that I might lose my passport.



I am dreading the "airport scenes". Most of the time (teka, parang always yata), there are always something bad comes up when we send someone off to the airport. From excess baggage to passport control, not matter how you prepared your departure, expect that something will come up. But ironically, the day turned out different than what I expect it to be. My departure in Suvarnabhumi airport turned out fine, until the plane departs and in fact, we landed in Clark International Airport a few minutes earlier as scheduled. I was thinking, it was saving the worst for last. I heard a lot of stories about how Filipino immigration, the strict/opportunist immigration officer. Strict because they will really open your baggage and check everything for those things that cannot bring to the Philippines. Opportunist because once they saw what's in your bag, they will pick something and ask if they can have it and out of shame you will give it. Again, ironic as my trip started, after the passport control, a guy in the custom check was waiting for me (I came first in the immigration check among all the passengers of the plane, I was not scared anymore because I secure my passport in the deepest pocket of my bag). He asked some question like "Ilang taon ka na?", "Anong ginagawa mo sa Thailand?", "Gano ka na katagal sa Thailand?", "Taga-san ka Pinas?" while flipping the pages of my passport. And the looks: strict/oppotunist. After checking the passport, he caught me looking at the door (I was checking if my family's waiting for me there) then he gave me my passport. I was about to open my bag. Digging deep in my pocket for the key in my luggage when he said. "Cge na, clear ka na." I mean my jaw literally dropped and i was thinking like "Can this day get better than this?" I was thanking him for a lot of times (by the way, I think he was so sure of what he is doing because I am all alone in the queue) and asking for forgiveness inside my head for judging him too quickly. I took my luggages and rushed to the door. The day gets better, I immediately got my answer.

A few meter from the door when I saw my younger sister Sare. It was that moment that all the 4 years of my life in Thailand becomes so clear to me. I ran to the door and gave each other a tight, warm hug. It was a few seconds that I notice that she was alone. She told me, my other siblings went to the toilet, Mama and Papa is looking for a parking spot and I was too early that the schedule time. We talked for a few moments before my other siblings came. "Si Ate, si Ann, si Dong, Si Marlon, asawa ni Sare., they are all here. Si Ann dadrama pa yata. She was running then stopped a meter away from me. Looked at me, eyes watering then approached me. "Laki ng ilong mo." she said. It was insulting I guess but it was much better than "Hello."

"Si mama kasama si Sam." From the parking lot, I saw my mother running with my pamangkin Sam. Sam, being as excited as i was, run towards me. Like what Ann did, stopped a meter away from me and looked at me from head to foot. Hindi na ko nakatiis, I grabbed him and gave a cuddly kiss on the cheeks. He was 2 years old when I went to Thailand. When I was still in the Philippines, he always hangs out in our house and we always go out, look and count the cars, jeep and tricycles passing by in our street. Then go to the store and buy Magnolia Chocolait for him and for me. It was his favorite. Nainggit lang si Tito. "Ayun si Mama, 10 meters away from me, umiiyak na." Well, She never saw me in 4 years, it was stressing her out, a lot. Tight hugs and kisses then she told me "Ang laki laki mo, mukha ka nang tatay." Insulting again but it was much better that "Umuwi ka pa?"


I was so high with the presence of my family around me. After 4 long years, so long the image was like a dream to me. I was busy talking and talking when someone throw his arms in my neck. "Ay si papa." (those were the exact words). At long last. I am with my family. I am home.

The things that I did when I was in the Philippines:
1. Reymay's Wedding (hang out with my college friends)

2. Visit the SM Mall of Asia (when I left, they were still building it). We watched T2 (horror movie with Maricel Soriano). I was suddenly missed the cinemas in Thailand because Filipinos are so noisy when they watch a movie in cinema houses. It was this scene when Maricel was being haunted by an "engkanto". "May sumisitsit sa kakahuyan." Annoying thing was, the engkanto stopped the sitsit but the kid beside me was still doing it.

3. Tumambay sa SM at Trinoma. Kumain ng unlimited rice sa Mang Inasal. Kumain ng dimsum sa may... nakalimutan ko na. Maglaro sa Timezone. Magikot sa kung saan saan. I saw how long I have been away because SM North Edsa was renovated and Trinoma is a good place to hang out. I was having the intention of just stay at home. Kasi nga walang budget but my so generous Ate always ask me to go out when she has time (and she has a lot of it when I went home) so I always reply "Timezone na lang tayo." She paid everything; the games, the movie, the food, the food again and more food, the baon that I brought when I went back to Thailand. Sobrang nahihiya nga ako nun kasi ako ung galing abroad ako ung walang pera. Sya pa ung nagagalit pag sinasabi ko na wag na lang lumabas kasi walang budget. "Walang sense ang pag-uwi mo kung magmumukmok ka lang sa bahay." I was planning to repay her back pero hindi pera, nagiisip pa.

4. The Flickristasindios Photowalk. It was the first time I met my co-members in Flickr group "Flickristasindios". Para akong nakameet ng celebrity. Nakita ko si jobaracuda sa personal (again, the exact same words). I got to know him because there was another Flickr Group (Philippines and they had a photo contest/exhibit last October 2008. I was so happy, ecsatic I guess, because my photo was chosen. Jobarracuda won the contest so parang idol na ang dating nya sa akin. I was so happy talking with "The Indios", hanging out with them, sharing photos and stories with them. And of course the Weekly Mamam. At least nakaattend ako twice. What's more fun than talking about photography with beer and sisig (sabayan pa ng jokes ang pangungulit)?

5. LaMesa Dam/Ecopark. Family outing. FUN!

6. at kung anu-ano pa na hindi ko na matandaan...

It was just awkward that the whole time I was there. I felt different. I know I am home and I am with my family but i felt like I was on vacation and went to another country. Everything was so different from they were when I left. The memories of the physical place of the place I called home suddenly looks like a blur. That was four years? I felt like I was away for a decade. I was starting to miss things and feel awkward with the new ones. I was like holding back in letting go of the memories and convincing myself not to embrace the fresh and soon-to-be-made memories. In the attempt of keeping my circle of convenience and my mantle of protection, I was being selfish to myself, the chance to grow and to face more opportunities. It was then before I left and go back to the Thailand that I started to feel that I need give room for the memories. To replace the old with the new. To change the oil and start running with fresh. Yes, I was sad because of the fresh memories that was being played in my head over and over again. And the additional perk, these fresh memories makes me more inspired in working in a place away from home. The pictures so vivid that everytime I relive it, it's like I'm living it all over again. At first, I was like kind of killing myself why I made the decision of going home. I was like "Okay ka naman nung nag-4 na taon ka, kinaya mo, ngaun nalulungkot at nag-iisip na muli, nag-iisa ka na naman. Pauwi-uwi ka pa kasi." Little did I know, that these fresh memories help me crave for much more memories once I go back to the place that I will always call home.


Care to make more memories? Sure. December is just around the corner and before I know it, I am making fresh "Christmas" memories with my family.

The Indios Experience

On December 15-19, the Flickr group Flickristasindios will have their first-ever photo exhibit called "The Indios Experience".

The Flickristasindios will showcase their best photos through different genres and subjects which shows the passion that binds them together.
They will display selected 80 photos of 80 members, photos of their weekly HMT (Happy Mamam Thursday), outreach programs, photoshoots, etc.
I'm proud being my photo "Boatman" included in the photo exhibit.

I was strolling in my place, (Samchuk, Suphanburi, Thailand) then we decided to visit Wat Samchuk. We (with my colleague) were crossing the bridge to to the temple, when we saw a man on a boat, going to our direction, on the river under us. I took the opportunity to capture this moment.
I remember a friend of mine told me that sometimes, you need a right moment to capture a good shot. No matter what kind of camera you are using.
I started taking pictures using my cameraphone. A Nokia 6600. My friends called me crazy when there were time we were just walking then I'll asked them to stop for a moment, took out my phone and started taking pictures. I captured different subjects like macro shots of flowers, of bowling balls, little children sleeping.
Frustrations are now turning to achievements as my photos are appreciated by other people, most importantly, by the photography community.
I just wish I am in the Philippines to see my photo in the exhibit. My photo with other photos of the Flickristasindios. My photo being appreciated by other people.

Propagating Friendship Award

A college friend, also a blogger, gave me this link to her blog. An award passed from one blogger to another. Jes is a mom of two kids. She blogs about her little angels and selling house and lots.

Thank you Jes. Keep blogging



Now, I am passing this award to Willi
A 2-time Palanca Awardee in America and the mastermind of the Lagalag: A Traveling Journal of Filipinos. And of course, a blogger.

Ikatlong Banat: Flickristas Shoot 8

Inspired by a friend, I started taking photographs just using my cameraphone long time ago. A month ago, I bought my first DSLR camera.

I am so happy, ecstatically happy being my photo included in the exhibit. A feeling of fulfillment as an amateur (or as a friend said to me "frustrated") photographer.

Anyway, it won't stop there. I'm very willing to learn more things about photography.

A friend told me that she thinks that photographers are pathetic, with that big gadget always with them and all. Actually, I kind of forgot her reasons why they are pathetic because while she is telling me all these reasons, my mind is racing with how I will answer to it. I told her that for me, photography is art. It's like painting a picture, instead using paints, brush and canvas, photographers use camera, lens, film and photo paper. Like painters, photographers make their own masterpieces by capturing finest moments, peoples' emotions, landscapes of grandeur, beautiful ways of Mother Nature. Painters and photographers are not different from each other. Sharing their feelings through their own ways of art. she just answered "So you're answering for them? Or you feel like you're one of them?". I just smiled. Maybe I can be one of them, maybe I can capture these "works of art" and share it to the world. I just had my first step. My photo is in the Flickrista Shoots Eight Exhibit.



This is my photo entry in the exhibit. Although it didn't win, I am still happy that my photo is included in the exhibit. But most of all, my family visited the exhibit and they love my photo (they even thought that I have a chance of winning the prize). Being appreciated by my family in all of my endeavors makes me feel that the world appreciated my work.

Unang Liham Para kay Mama (sa Internet)

It was December 2005 when I wrote this on my Friendster's blog. I'm counting the days before my 26th birthday and I am starting to miss my family.

Driven by inspiration, I wrote this. For the greatest fan and the greatest hero of my life.
Unang pasko ko na hindi ko kayo kasama. Nakakalungkot pero isipin ko lang na kahit papano makakatulong ako sa mga problema at kapag naging maayos na ako dito ay lalong magiging maayos ang buhay natin kahit papano.

Naaalala ko nun nung minsang umuwi ako sa bahay, galing school, nasa elementary ako nun. Nagulat ka kasi hindi pa uwian, umuwi na ko at umiiiyak. Nagsumbong ako, niloloko kasi ako ng mga kaklase ko. Bumalik tayo sa school at kinausap (hindi sinigawan) ang mga kaklase ko na nanloloko sa kin.

Minsan pang naglalaro ako sa kalye ng Manggahan, nanggulo ung kapitbahay naming bully. Nakita mong inaambaan ako ng suntok. Hindi mo pa rin sya sinigawan, sabi mo "Sige, magsuntukan kayo." Hindi ko rin maalala ang mga sunod na pangyayari, napatumba ko sya at parang ilang minutong naging sikat ako sa tin, napataob ko salbaheng bata. Umuwi ako, umiiyak. Pero may tuwa sa kalooban, simula noon kahit papano natuto na ako kung pano lumaban.

Minsan umuwi ako sa bahay galing school, kolehiyo na ako noon. Pagbaba ng bag, telepono agad ang hinanap ko. May kausap ako, yung nililigawan ko. Tinatanong ko kasi kung totoo bang sinagot na nya yung isang kaklase namin nanliligaw sa kanya, na isang linggo pa lang nya nililigawan, at ako, buwan na. Maya-maya, binaba ko tapos tawag uli, si Nikki naman kausap ko. Nakita mo na lang ako, umiiyak, humahagulgol. Kahit pagkababa na ng telepono, umiiyak pa rin ako. Niyaya mo na akong kumain. Medyo ok na ko nun habang kumakain. Nilapitan mo ako tapos niyakap. "Ok lang yan kuya, ganyan talaga ang buhay". Muli, nangilid ang luha sa mata ko at nagsimula uli akong humagulgol.

Napakarami na nang dinaanan mo, natin. Naging saksi ako sa 22 taong pinakakasalukuyang pangyayari sa buhay mo. Ilang taon lang doon ang ako'y magkamalay at nakaintindi. Madalas, tikom-bibig lang ako manood sa mga ito. Pero sa loob ko, naging masaya ako sa maliligayang sandali at malungkot sa pinagdaaanang pagsubok. Minsan lang natandaan ko na nakapagsalita ako na wag ka nilang apihin, lasing ako sa bahay ng kaklase ko.

Pero kahit ganun man, nanatili kang matatag sa lahat ng mga ito. Naging inspirasyon ko ito habang nandito ako, malayo sa piling nyo. Ang katatagan na ito ang nagpapagalaw sa mga paa ko at nagbibigay enerhiya sa kin upang gumising araw-araw at magtrabaho.

At ngayon, kayo naman ang may kailangan ng balikat na sasandalan, sana ay maipahayag ko, sa pamamagitan ng sulat na ito, na kahit malayo ako, nandito ako para magsilbing balikat upang akayin ang mabigat mong ulo at nang gumimhawa ang pakiramdam mo.

Tulad mo, lalakasan ko pa ang loob ko para malampasan din ang mga problema ko, at sana wag ka ring mawalan ng lakas ng loob at tiwala sa Diyos. May balik na maganda rin ang lahat ng ito.

Tulad nga ng sinabi ng isang kaibigan ko, "May dahilan ang lahat na ito." at alam kong makatarungan ang Diyos sa kung ano mang dahilan na nasa likod nang pinagdadaanan nating ito.

Magiging malungkot ang pasko ko, pero isipin ko lang na nandyan ka, kayo, nasa likod ko upang gabayan ako, magiging masaya na rin ito.

Miss na miss ko na kayo! Alagaan nyo ang sarili nyo at magtulungan kayo, tayo.

Mahal na mahal kita, Ma!

Assorted Pics

Laos Trip

Nagbibilang ng Taon 3: R E B O O T

One of the things that I enjoy is music. It serves as fuel for me when my day starting to trash down on me. It gives me hope when I am helpless. It makes me realize my worth when I feel useless. I am enjoying it more when I dance with it.

When I was in my first year college, me and a close friend decided to join a school dance competition, just for fun doing the thing you love, and for the prize of course. At first, the hope is high. Everything flowed smoothly, the choreography was good, the music was entertaining. But in the day of the competition, we unfortunately chose the number of the group that will first perform. We were prepared, but on that moment, we felt falling. Then after that, while watching the other groups perform, the hope of winning became blurry then gone. There was no reason to be happy, they were better than us.

The next year, I decided not to join. I saw déjà vu, the moment of shame, clearly the same as last year. Why should I do it again? Doing things that will hurt me over and over again? Why should I waste time? There are more important things to take care of than to join the competition with a nil chance of winning. My friends still tried to join without me. They want me to get envy, practicing the routine in front of me. And yes, I did got envy but still pride reigned over me. I tried to hide it but a very close friend saw it in my eyes. I failed to hide it from her. She made me change my mind, with just words. No mind pressure. “ Are you in the right mind in stopping yourself in doing things that you really wanted to do? It’s like taking your own life. Dancing your life and are you prepared to take it away from you?” In that predicament, I took away the prize from eyes, the shame, losing. The next couple of days, the rehearsals flowed smoothly. We were just doing what we love, that will complete the gaps in our character. The real “me”. The real “us”.

I named our group Reboot, a computer term, to restart the system. That’s what we did, we rethink everything. Like in a computer, when you reboot it, it wastes a lot of energy, it’s not easy to redo and recreate it. We used a lot time and energy but we didn’t get tired because we love what we are doing. We learned from our past errors, used the lesson learned to make a new dance. In the day of the competition, the only thing we did is to dance, enjoying the moment of doing the thing I enjoy doing, my life. Amidst the cheer of the crowd, we are relieved that we are giving them the entertainment they want to see that day, way satisfying that winning the prize. We gave them what they deserve. At the end of the day, we brought home the grand prize.

I am now working in a rural area of Thailand, two driving hours away from the hustle and bustle of Bangkok. The world I never get use to live with. Far from the world that mold me as me. And yet, there is not feeling of un-belongingness inside me. I am meant to be here.

In the third year of being here in Thailand, a lot of things happened to me. A lot of mistakes, a lot of misconceived decisions, a lot of things to be corrected. I had the good job at the first half of the year. Good salary, opportunity to escape from a world full of fools and lies, but I risk losing some good friends. One big sacrifice from one big decision that I need to endure. They were in that world, they live there and they have to stay and I have to go. One thing that I learned, decisions will not give perfect results. Sometimes you have to sacrifice something. At the end, I just now realize the real importance of living and working abroad. Once you want something, sacrifices are also in the package. It will never be easy. It will never be prefect.

At the end of the year, I just learned my true worth as a Christian. One friend asked me to attend the Christian Life Program of the Singles for Christ – Central Bangkok. It was the third time I received the invitation from 3 different persons in three different situations but in that moment I felt that it was the real calling for me, an invitation to know Him more and his part in my life. One the first day of the program, I said to myself, “Satisfaction makes me enjoy things. If I am satisfied and enjoyed doing this, I’ll commit my Sundays for this and if not, no more next Sunday. It didn’t fail me. At the end of the day I decided to continue to walk on this journey towards Him. And at the end of the program, I huge change happened in my life. I realized all the sinful things I did for a long time. It made me realized the real meaning of life on earth. Understanding hope, the never-ending hope that God is always with you. Everything flowed smoothly. Everything was so easy, even at those times that I was unemployed for two months and living on the money owed from friends. I am not anymore afraid of living in a place without relatives and a place that I have to be independent and alone. Something is always in store for me. Someone’s watching over me. Not on the moment that certain things will happen on the time I wanted it to happen but I know that God has answer in His time, in His mercy. I have to trust him. One time, I just came home from one of the talks in CLP. I always told my housemate, a dear friend all the things that I learned on that day. I saw her touched and teary-eyed. I told her all the things that happened to me since we live on the same house. I call her “ninang” since she is like a godmother to me, always has an ear to listen to my stories. I told her everything, no secrets. She knows all the things that happened to me. She told me that I was an answer to all of her prayers. She told me that I am a concrete evidence that God moves in mysterious and powerful ways in our lives.

Before the summer vacation ends, I attended the First Birthday party of my friend’s child. In one unexpected circumstances, one of the people who were always there in all the parties that I attended in that place approached me and asks me if I am fine. Even though things are weighing down in my shoulder, I said I am fine. Then after that, she asked me about my job. I told her the real situation of my employment. I trusted her even though I don’t really know her well. Unexpectedly, she told me that a friend her (who were always with her in all the get together) who were working in her school left and went back to Philippines so their school is needing a teacher, a Science and Math teacher which is my major and minor subject of specialization. She recommended me to work in her school. I was not that really interested but I tried to go there for an interview. The salary is good, the school is beautiful, the students are nice, the teachers are hospitable and I will teach what I love to teach. There is only one hunch, the school is in the province. The first thing that came to my mind, I am a city boy, I don’t think that I will last in that place. Still I tried and went to the place. The place is civilized, but there are no tall buildings and houses, well-lit roads and streets, noisy cars and people, and unlimited internet connection. This is not the place that I used to live in. The only “fun” place to go is the nearby Tesco Lotus and market.

They accept my application and I signed the contract for the reason that I will teach what I love to teach. My previous teaching job that I had, I also receiving a good salary but teaching is very stressful for me since it was not what I want to teach.

My previous job asked me again to work for them. I became confused. Two situations are brawling inside my head: a nice but sad life in Suphanburi and the fun but stressful work in Bangkok. In an advice of a friend, I went to the toilet, locked myself in one of the cubicle and prayed. I ask light in that time that the future is blur to be seen. When I went out of the toilet, I am now decided; I chose the life in the province.

One night, I was in my friend’s house (the one who recommended me for the job) and sharing stories. She told me the reason why she approached me and talked to me the day she offered me to work in the province. She said that she saw me sad and was in deep thinking in that day that I am trying to suit in a happy occasion. In that moment, she also heard a tiny voice, “Ask him if his fine.” One whisper of chance is the answer to my prayer. God again did not disappoint me. He showed me the real power of prayers. God always provides, in those times that I need help. As long as I know how to ask and talk to Him, He will not disappoint me, not on the time I am expecting it to happen but in the time according to His plan. In that moment, the time favors for the answer of my prayers.

Now, I am now living the real life of a worker in another country. The joy of sending enough money for my family back home, the real sacrifice, a real work. One huge start from one big change. A new life as a Filipino and as a Christian. I’m choreographing a new dance again, groovy and the audience will enjoy watching me dancing it, those people in my life. I just pressed the reset button of my life. Reflected all the things that happened in my life, correcting the errors, let God reign over me and my life. It is stressful but I know I will be happy after this. In the time that I will dance again, I know how to move to the beat. In the time that my system works again, my mind is refreshed, I can now do my duties and obligations. I am happy with what I am doing at I should fear nothing, in my enemies, in trials, as long as I know that God is always on my side.

Video Blog 3: Video Testimonial for Jeanny

My friend Jeanny got married last December. She dropped me a lot of messages before her wedding date but I didn't sens any message for her. So I made this video blog for her.

Jeanny is one of my special friends. We have a very special story about her friendship. Mostly, kids who get along when they were young never ended up best friends when they grow up but in our case, the opposite of it. We don't like each other, or should I say i don't really like her when we were young. She used to have a very bad temper, she got angry easily and she freaked out at some certain level. We went on the same school since kindergarten, high school (except 3rd and 4th year since I transferred to another school and in college, we went to same school and took up the same course. That's when we realize that we are meant to be friends, good friends. We share a lot of things to each other, even those sensitive things that both of us only knows.

Now she is living in New Zealand with her better half and I keep on thinking when will it happenned again, the days of us sharing secrets and stuffs, laughing at each other jokes, singing duet at the videoke, and hanging out on anywhere we want to go. Well, things changes, sometimes the things that you don't expect to change. It will just one day, blown in front of your face and you will say "What was just happened?" and the only thing that you can do, ACCEPT it. The hardest thing to do but the best. Yet, it is hard to let go, you just have to release anyway. You might enjoy looking at it, wandering around happily, makes you full happy too.

We seldom talk to each other now, because of the distance, time difference and mode of communication but well, I know, deep down inside me, she is one of the best "buds" that I have and will always have.

Speaking of changes, you will notice some changes in me in the video. The hair, the face, the figure...I don't know. Just watch it, and don't try to contact me and tell me what it is. I'm sick of hearing it everyday. (hehehehehehe)

Fun Way to do with Your Music Player

There are ten given questions. Set your Ipod/mp3/mp4 player on shuffle/random. Press forward for each question. Use each song title as an answer to each question even if it doesn’t make sense. No cheating.

Over 200 songs in my mp4 player surveyed.
Random playing says …
1) HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?
Say Ok by Vanessa Hudgens
(Will you wipe my tears away
Will you hold me closer
When it's not alright
When it's not ok
Will you try to make me feel better.)

2) HOW DO YOUR FRIENDS SEE YOU?
Can We Rock Fu Shnicken with Shaquille O Nea
l(Check it out yo, I smile like Groucho Marx
I make a joke, hokey pokey, and slide by like egg yolk)

3) WILL YOU EVER FIND TRUE LOVE?Buttons by Pussycat Dolls
(Typical and hardly
The type I fall for
I like it when the physical
Don't leave me askin' for more)

4) WHAT IS THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE?
If You Come Back by Blue
(For all this timeI've been lovin' you girl
Oh yes I have
And ever since the day
You left me here alone
I've been trying to find
A reason why)

5) WHAT WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD LIKE?
The Remedy by Jason Mraz
(I won't worry my life away
I won't worry my life away)

6) WHAT IS TODAY GOING TO BE LIKE?
What I’ve Done by Linkin Park
(For what I've done I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

7) WHAT IS IN STORE FOR THIS WEEKEND?Come Rain Come Shine by Tata Young
(Bring in the rain, bring in the shine
Let it go stop wasting time,
I'm calling out to you)

8) WHAT SONG BEST DESCRIBES YOU?
Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows
(So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming
All this love melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love)

9) HOW’S LIFE SO FAR?
This Temptation by Blue
(I know that we've both been herebefore
Thats why I really wanna be sure
But now the moments here
Never been too good at this temptation)

10) WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Unbelievable by Craig David
(I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.)

Beyond Forgetting by Rolando Carbonel

For a moment I thought I could forget you.
For a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart.
I thought the past could no longer haunt me – nor hurt me.
How wrong I was!

For the past, no matter how distant is as much a part of me as life itself.
And you are part of that life.
You are so much a part of me – of my dreams,
my early hopes,
my youth
and my ambitions –
that in all my task I can’t help remembering you.
Many little delights and things remind me of you.

Yes, I came.
And would my pride mock my real feelings?
Would the love song, the sweet and lovely smile on your face,
be lost among the deepening shadows?

I have wanted to be alone…
I thought I could make myself forget you in silence and in song…

And yet I remembered.
For who could forget the memory of the once lovely,
the once beautiful, the one happy world such as ours?

I came because the song that I kept through the years is waiting to be sung.
I cannot sing it without you.
The song when sung alone will lose the essence of its tune,
because you and I had been one.

I have wanted this misery to end, because it is part of my restlessness.
Can’t you understand?
Can’t you divine the depth of my feelings towards you?
Yes, can’t you see how I suffer in this even darkness without you?

You went away because you took my silence for indifference.
But silence, my dear, is the language of my heart.
For how could I essay the intensity of my love when silence speaks
a more eloquent tone?
But, perhaps you didn’t understand.

Remember, I came, because the gnawing loneliness is there
and will not be lost until the music is sung,
until the poem is heard,
until the silence is understood…
until you come to me again.
For you alone can blend music and memory
into one consuming ecstacy.
You alone…

Nagbibilang ng Taon (part 2)

30 May 2007

Nakauwi na ako ng bahay after ng work ng maalala ko, pangalawang taon ko na pala 'to sa Thailand. Kaninang 2 ng umaga, 2 years ago, naghihintay kami ng bagahe namin na hndi pa dumarating. Anyway, kagabi pa ako nagiisip kung anong magandang ilagay sa blog ko sa pang 2nd year anniversary ko sa Thailand. Ngayon ko lang naiisip kung ano.

I was watching music videos in Veoh.com then I remember a Tagalog song. My sister tol me "Bagay sa yo ung kantang to kuya." and when my mom saw the video (we were watching the music video in Myx) she said "Ay, parang si Kuya".

Here's the video of Sugarfree "Hari ng Sablay"




Sablay: hindi sumasakto, mali ang kwenta, at sa makabagong kahulugan; madalas pumalpak.

Sa ikalawang taon ko dito, marami rin akong sablay, as in marami. Maraming bagay na nawala sa ayos, mga taong naapektuhan at nagalit, mga nakakalungkot na desisyon, mga makabagbag damdaming pagbabago.

Sa una, iniisip ko, hari ako ng sablay, walang tumatagal, maraming pumapalpak, maraming nawawala. Bakit nga ba madalas ako sumablay? Nakakatawa mang isipin, minsan nakakatuwaan ko na lang pagkasablay ko, parang nasasanay na ung mga tao sa paligid, ang ginawa na lang nila, makisabay sa pagkasablay ko. Pero minsang naisip ko, bakit ako sumablay, saan sa parte na un ako sumablay. Mga bagay na pinakahawak-hawakan ko, pinagkaingat-ingatan ko, nang dahil sa walang kamalayan kong pagsablay, nawala. Ang resulta; naging desperado ako at ang nakakatuwa (o nakakainis) mas pinili ko ang sumablay pa ng maraming ulit. Naging masaya ba ako, hindi. Pero nasa isip ko na dahil sa pagkasablay din naman nakuha ko un, baka maswertehan makakuha ulit ako ng bago.

Maraming naiba sa pananaw ko, sa maraming bagay, un siguro mga side-effect ng mamuhay mag-isa, ang mamulat sa totong kulay ng mundo at pakisamahan ito para mabuhay, maka-survive. Sa pakikisama sa tao, sa paghawak ng ilang bagay, maraming nagbago. Minsan nga nakakatuwang panoorin, kasama kong sumasablay ang maraming tao at sa tingin ko, natural ang sumablay, ang matawag na hari ng sablay.

Walang masamang sumablay, hindi mo kasi makikita kung anong pangit ang kalalabasan ng isang bagay kung hindi ka sasablay (lalo na sa mga taong nagiging masaya sa kasalukuyan at dahil din hindi na iniisip ang pwedeng kahantungan ng hinaharap). Makikita mo ang mali at sa pangalawang pagkakataon, maranasan mo ulit, hindi ka na sasablay.

Aminado ako, hari ako ng sablay, madalas magkamali (isang tama, sampung mali, ganyan ako pumili) at alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi na naulit ang ilang mga sablay sa pangyayari (maliban nga lang sa ilang bagay na, hanggang ngayon sumasablay pa rin ako). Hindi ako maapektuhan kung tawagin pa nila akong hari ng sablay, kahit sila man maiisip nila isang araw na isa rin silang hari o reyna ng sablay. Kung ano pa man mangyari, handa pa rin ako harapin kung ano pang kasablayan na mangyayari sa kin dito. Katulad na rin un nang pagsabing hindi ako huminto na matuto at makita ang mali at kung mangyari man ulit, ilang beses na lang ako sasablay.

What's happening to Youtube?

I opened my e-mail this morning, then I received mails from Youtube that someone leave a message and a comment in my account and someone subscribed in my videos.

Then, I tried to check it on Youtube. Unfortunately, I can't open the site. I just thought that maybe Youtube is doing a maintenance of their site because it happened before, couple of weeks ago.

Then this afternoon, my colleague showed me the reason why we can't open the Youtube site.

It's a sad news for those who are frequently watching videos in Youtube here in Thailand.

And it is a sad news for me 'cos I can't make more video blogs and I can't watch my previous video blogs here in my blogsite.

The link: http://www.bangkokpost.net/topstories/topstories.php?id=117871

2nd Video Blog: IBS and colleagues

About my school

Featuring Red and Hannah (my colleagues).

Sorry about the bunch of OK's and So's!